Christ Mas..

I'm not sure but I'm feeling the blues this holiday... It feels like I have nothing to be merry about. I guess I just miss my other half.

So much to say... But so few on how to express it. How can I be consistent. That I'm not sure of, but heck I can go with no limits. I have something to do to make it feel better I will. Kahit na may matatapakan na mga tao.

I guess I'm not the man of my words.. That's all I have right now strong words but weak emotions or how I express it. Something's bothering me. Maybe it's my lifestyle... It's a bit dull. Maybe, I need a dose of my lover.
I'm tired.. I want to sleep forever. So much to love, so much to prove...

Fix.

I'm in this terrible position, and it's because I know this is the right thing to do. I'm confident that it will recover because she knows that she wants to.

I stood up. Let her know what made me mad. What made this happen.  It's not easy to man up. It takes a lot of courage, even if it means saying the hardest words possible. For me you just can't pull it anywhere.. I have to man up for a reason. To make her know, to let her feel. I guess kaya ako nag matigas kasi alam kung tama ang ginagawa ko. Alam ko ang ginagawa ko.

I love her so much that is why I'm doing this. Ako lang ang makakaintindi nun. It's for the better, and that's what she's looking for... Better. If she can understand why I'm doing this, and what it's for. I have hope. And I'm willing to give this a shot. I'm fixing it. I'm not asking for you to stop seeing your friends, or stop going out. I just want you to understand kung anong meron akong buhay. Hindi ito madali. Kasi ako yung naiipit.

At the end of the day.. You still have me.. I am consistent. That's why I make time to be with you, kahit mahirap. I will fix this, but fix what you know as well.

6% Body fat and 94% full of shit

It's official. I'm full of shit. That's why I always feel like shit, well not most of the time. Well it hurts to know that you are full of it. Even thought it's not for me.. I'm affected, because I'm giving you shit all the time. "Don't do that or Blah Blah" Too many to mention.

Maybe I'm full of jealousy. It's hard not to.

I'm back!

Damn, Ken where the hell you've been?! I'm photo shoot fresh. Well It's been a while seen I posted something. Well a lot had happen, that I'm pretty sure of. Ups, and downs, and merry-go-rounds.

I'm sure that I'm happier than yesterday. Will be posting a lot soon. To my loyal follower! I love you.. I'll see you soon.

What's the unit?

I started thinking last night, my love opened my eyes about it. If you can measure love.. By some kind of instrument that would be awesome. Mine would burst right in. As I know. I'm that sure. cm? mm? inch? cc?

But the bigger question is.. Can you measure love? What are the means to measure love.. Is it when you say I love you, every minute of the day or how you call everyday or is it how you make creative things for your loved one when you're doing nothing at all or maybe show yourself up in front of her/his house. In my world, love is un-measurable. The majority of it is how you feel love for your loved one. You can't measure someone's feelings or love.. You're the only one who can measure the feelings na nararamdaman mo.

People are always saying that change is a good thing. But all they're saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... Has happened.

What will Lea Maui say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer. I wait impatiently as it starts up. I go online, and my breath catches until I see that Lea posted something on my wall. I hear nothing. Not even the sound of Kanye's music just the beating of my own heart. I have a wallpost. from you.

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it for the ones I love or do I do it for me to obtain happiness? I'm not looking for an answer. This is the kind of question that will keep me moving forward.

It's official.

I'm the worst boyfriend ever.. And I have the bestest girl ever. Narinig ko na lahat ng ayokong marinig, which makes me well the worst boyfriend ever. I'm at the peak already. Bago ako makababa.. Madaming pag dadaanan. Parang di na natatapos. I'm being the worst possible version of myself. Di na natatapos one thing I know. Iba nanaman pinagaawayan... Halos different angles mong tignan di mawawala. Lahat yun masakit tanggapin kasi... Siya na nga lang nakakasama ko. Tapos di pa daw parati.. Well, I have no one to give my time na kung hindi sa kanya. Ang hirap na talaga. Di ko alam kung di niya matanggap yung best ko o hindi ko pa toh best. I try to surprise her, give her things, love her more, but that's not enough.

I'm just thankful na di niya pa ako iniiwan. I'll be happy I am happy... Pag dumating yung araw na yun. it would be hurtful but yet.. Truthful.

If her love isn't deep for me, she'll find someone better. If she likes someone already, masakit.

The top 5 personalities of my girl..

Here are the top 5 personalities of my one and only love. :)


1. Flirty Lea - One of my favorites. But not my top. She gives me this exotic temptress' eyes. I sends chills to my bones. She'll get closer and closer. Gives me random kisses.. I'm on my knees, every time she turns into this sexy beast.. That I could only restrain. Hopefully. What a sexual preference.

2. Possessive Lea - This is quite a curve ball. When she gives me this look that signifies uhmm.. Possessive-ness. It's really cute! When you see her making these weird faces. It brings joy to my heart, because she wants to make sure. That she's mine... All mine. Sweet, there's plenty of me to go around! :D

3. The Weird one/ The Serious one - Now, this personality is kinda scary, because it feels like she's hiding something from me. Acting all goofy and all. Being quite or Gazing through the sky or the ceiling sometimes. Ang seryoso lang minsan. I can't read her all the time. Sometimes we fight about nothing. Because sometimes her nothing is just not nothing.. There's something, definitely. Scariest for me. Ang sexy niya pa din. :D

4. The blissful one - When bliss is present. There's nothing to worry about. Love is in the air. Nothing could go wrong. Do I need to explain bliss. I'm the one who could only assure that for her. And sometimes it hurts me, because sometimes I can't give that to her.. She suddenly turns to the 3rd one which is the weird one. So that is definitely hard to handle. But it's pretty obvious when she's happy. Kahit saan mo pa dalhin. She smiles of course, and her eyes. Oh man, her eyes.. The perfect weapon of happiness. Even if you cover her lips. You can still tell that she's happy. Her eyes I just can't describe it. Whenever I look into it. Parang I'm sucked by a vortex of rainbow. You can definitely see that there's one happy soul.

1. Mr. Lea Andrea Mauro - She gets what she wants. PERIOD! And I love that. Because all she wants is me. I guess you're wondering why Mr.?! Mr. I'm turning into her. Full of Passion and Devotion. And yun yung minsan na pagkukulang ko. Ever time we argue. Sometimes. parang ang sarap na lang niyang yakapin kasi all she's trying to say is FIX THIS, BECAUSE I CARE, AND I LOVE YOU. "I'm trying to say what I feel para mapasaya mo ako lalo" type of attitude. I lack of understanding kasi how can I understand her when she's standing under me. WORDPLAY! Woot! :* She's the boss. I love my boss, commander, and Goddess. The CEO of my life.

That's it! My top 5 personalities of Lea. Whatever personality she show. I equally love them all. She's the one, but five is better. 5 of her that is. I love her for her. And only her.

The greatest detective with Catwoman...

The Dark Knight's Kryptonite. Catwoman. Rawr. Ang hot lang ng counterpart ko.

Hello..

Let me allow to introduce myself.. My name is Harold Kevin L. Yoingco. You can call me Ken, Harold.. Whatever.

I love comics.

I love collecting figures.

I have a boring life.

I like going to dinners.. Just dinners.

I love eating food. If it looks good I eat it.

I love when people know what they want.

I love it when people stand up for themselves.

I love when people ask me what do I want.

I love knowing things.

I have a big ego.

I can't lie. I can't

I tell the things even if it leads to hurting someone including the people I love.

I say what I want. Even if it's not the right time. I say it.

I love the movie Superman II Richard Donner cut. That's the most important movie for me.
I hate it when people say na wala silang ginagawang maayos...
I love it when I dress up nicely.
I hate it when people think they're not beautiful.
I tend to tell my stories.. Rarely.
I never open up when I don't know you.
I love making things when I know it will make someone happy.
I hate it when people doubt me.
I hate it when people doesn't believe me.
If I think what is right I do or say it.
I never leave without saying goodbye.
I love me for me can I be phony to myself? No.
I hate drinking. Unless may special event.
I hate to be lonely.
I love my circle right now.
I'm satisfied with what I have now.
I hate conversing with people who doesn't know what they want... Nasabi ko na ata toh.
I like bragging kung meron man ako.
I like seeing my loved ones happy.
I can't do things right, most of the time. But I know what I'm doing.
I hate it when I'm being judged sa nararamadaman ko kasi ako naman yung nakakaramdam.
I'm not smart... But I can survive.
I don't need your opinion unless importante ka sakin.
Honesty is the best policy.. Whether it's late.
Being mad is the one thing I do best.
If I love something.. I will love it to the fullest.
I love Lea.
Gossip, Gossip.
I'm jealous.
I'm broke.
I'm ill, because I'm suffering from realness.
Madali akong masaktan.
If I'm sure. I'm sure.
I'm sensitive.
I cry a lot.
I like Kanye.
I love Jay-Z.
I don't understand a lot of things.
I have a problem listening.
I save for my wants and needs.
I could dress all black for 10 years.
I hate being late.
I like being early.
I love silence.
I seldom like fighting. It brings out the best.
I love brutal honesty.
If I ask you a yes or no question... Just don't ask why.
I love Lea.
I enjoy reading a lot. (Comics)
I like walking. I love walking.. Kahit gaano pa kainit or kalayo.
Loooove is what important, because I tend to do things na hindi ko alam na magagawa ko.
I don't think love is cruel. We're cruel.
I hate people when they pretend.
I hate posers. About Comics.
I'm mean.
I don't like parties.
I don't like clubs.
I love markets.
Morning person.
I like being home.
I'm scared.

She knows me.

I miss you..

Wala na akong pwedeng gawin eh. Kung pwede lang lumipad sana alam mo nasa tabi na kita. Masakit pag nalaman mong hindi mo naipapakiita yung gusto mong maramdaman niya. Sinisi ko siguro ko kasi... Inaamin ko I've been less. Nahalata ko. I know making up for everything isn't the right thing. Kasi pwede namang hindi na mag make up.

Ang hirap ng ganito pag hindi mag kasama..

I don't know what to do.

I know I left you speechless. Eh mahal na mahal naman kita eh. Hindi mo na ba nararamdaman yun. Parang you don't feel my love anymore. Which is sad. You just put yourself in a position na sa tingin mo ikaw na lang nagmamahal sating dalawa. Or ako ba yung dahilan kaya nasa position kang ganyan.

Honestly, di naman tayo nagtutulungan. I admit it. Ang sakit sakit lang talaga.

The scene that I will never forget.. Because I can relate to it. pt.2

I can't seem to type... Anyways. The first time I watched this movie. The Notebook. I know it's kinda mushy and all, but It got me so hard. Because basically I can relate to this one scene (pt.1 of this blog title)

The past few weeks.. Honestly we've been fighting all the time. Misunderstandings, A lot of it. We can't agree on everything. Well almost everything, because we tend to answer back, bicker a lot. Walang nagpapatalo.

But we definitely agree on one thing. And that's love. We love each other so much. We get to the point that either one of us says something hurtful. I hope she didn't mean it, but she does every word of it, because that's how she sees me. I can't blame her for that. Kahit gaano pa ka sakit.. In the end I'm still standing. Because I love her. I can live like this. Siya lang naman na gusto kung makasama habang buhay. At kung dumating na sa point na she doesn't feel the same. Every day of my life. I will work my ass of para lang mabalik yung dati niyang mararamdaman. Mahal na mahal ko siya. And I'm very happy sa meron kami.

I love you, Lea.. That's it. Walang ng makakatalo dun.

The scene that I will never forget.. Because I can relate to it.

Speak now.

These two words are powerful. You can say anything.. Highly blissful or pure agony (Brutal honesty).

From now on. I speak only for happiness.. Which is always delivered to Lea.

All I want is you.

All the promises we make, from cradle to the grave. When all I want is you.

A love where the "promises we make" are too grand to support.

 I make promises to my lover, and they all sound wonderful, but I think it's unnecessary. When I only want is her. Everything else is a distraction.

True love is.. I guess, ultimate selflessness, living to make another person happy in any and every way that you can.

Is it me..

Is it me or I'm just being paranoid, or whatever. I kinda feel being less, and I'm not sure what less is. It's eating me up inside. I know I can't ask for more, because that's it. Maybe, I'll just have to wait for that "more".

I'm beginning to think that I'm doing something to make whatever it is to be less. I have so much going on right now. I really can't tell what that less is.

I think it's me. I'm not being that "more" to the one who deserves more. I am happy with this. I'm happy with my life now. I'm happy.

When I think of it. My mind goes blank. I really have no idea what this less is.  I think I have done some certain things that made me feel less.

The more I see myself... The less I know for sure.

Aggravate.

I have this thing that I ruin moments. I aggravate. I'm definite, that it's a bad thing. I don't need to keep my mouth shut, all I have to do is know and when to say it.

Makes me think, does honesty needs timing? I guess you can be honest about it. Just not be brutal about it. I just can't hold down. Because it's life we're talking about here. I can't go easy with that. I may pry about it, but sweet, I'm the only one who cares this much for you. Except for your parents, but you see my point.

We have started great but we ended depressingly pissed, or maybe siya lang. And I could never take that away from her.

My life.

My life right now isn't perfect, but when it comes to my source of happiness. There's no question that it's perfect. 

Proof! 

See! :D 

Finally found it!

Regina Spektor - Samson

I've been looking forever for that song and I finally found it, because of my one true love, Lea Andrea Mauro. I love you sooo much! I thank you! :'( It took me 3 years, 3 years... At ikaw lang pala ang hinahanap ko. Everything's with you.. You are my everything.

 The first time I watched the movie "Rumor has it" that song played, and it got me so hard. The voice just so soothing, and the heavy melody of the music. It's too heavy, very emotional. Ang tagal kung hinanap toh, and I loss faith. I gave up looking for it. Well, it took me 2 days of searching and I'm not pretty sure why it took me that long.

The song was played where the scene was Ms.Aniston is going home to her apartment to her future husband, Mr.Ruffalo. Apparently, Aniston got caught kissing someone else. Well, that's not the whole story. With that intense scene and on-screen love. The song and the scene is a perfect match.

Well, jus so you know... I loved Lea first. ;)

Complete my family.

This is the first time that I'll be posting something like this. It's not about my love, my attitude, the way I feel, or about comics.

This post is about my Family. I love them to death. And they give me the kind of attitude that you'll go, "I could die any day" type of attitude.

I'll start of with my Dad or Pops. He's this egoistic person. That you really can't brush it off from his shoulders, but he has this saying. I mean he didn't say it to me, but it's obvious that he wants us to live by this line. " I'll never let my son have my ego, he'll be nice to everyone, wherever we go." That's the kind of love that's going to help us keep grounded.
He already said "Sorry Son, I ruined you." because he.. Uhmm.. Well, he ruined our lives. Sad but true. He swallowed his pride just to apologize, well those aren't the exact words but you see my point. We know he talks the truth when he speak, give your word, dad. keep it. And if the day comes. I only see him the whole day in the weekend, specifically Sunday. I remembered he scolded me. Because I was keeping secrets or not telling what we feel or what we want. He said "Gusto ko kabarkada turing niyo sakin, ako lang ang kabarkada niyo habang buhay." Naiyak ako nung sinabi niya yun. Kasi I realized na parang Big Brother lang gusto niya mangyari... And I want that for the rest of my life. He just wanted to bond our charters, all the shit tha he never did, teach us good values, and just cherish it. Whatever I may be. I'm your son and I love you.

Now, my Mom... My Mom is this calm loving Mom. I wanna scream so loud for her, because I'm so proud of you. I promised to myself that I'll love her till she don't hurt no more. I can't stand her seeing her hurting, because of the life that we have now. A few days ago she said to me "Wag na lang magreklamo. Bilangin na lang ang blessings." That's very common but it's sooo true. I agree with her 110%. She's the coolest mom. She makes her laugh with her slow gesture when it comes to jokes, her wrong pronunciation with words, her sill stories and all. I love her for that, I hope she can see that. See she's unbreakable, unmistakable, highly capable. She went through hell for us. She deserves Heaven.

Mommy since you brought me to this world, let me take you out to a restaurant, Pho Hoa. I'm gonna try to give you what you want. It doesn't need to be Mother's day or your birthday for me just to call you and say I love you.

That's it from now yo! next will be my siblings. I started with the guys who brought me to this world... I'm blessed to have them as my parents.

Isn't so simplistic..

If the world was ours, we would have it all. But the life we live isn't so simplistic. We just don't get what we want all the time. Things will be limited and we can try to make the best out of it.

Maybe we're just used to be that too comfortable all time. But the longer we stay, the harder we get the things that we wanted to do.  We're perfect for each other that I'm sure, but what we have right now isn't perfect. Because we have restrictions and all.

But we're halfway there, were looking good now. Nothing could get in our way. Looking back.. I guess I'm glad that we reached "Halfway There". So we take what comes and we'll keep on going. Having each others side. Then we turn around and see that we already have come so far, somehow.

Sick as hell.

1st time I've seen my counterpart this sick and it sickens my heart. I mean seeing her like that. It's that visible too see that she's ill and hurting. I try to be the best counterpart by taking care of her, of course, and making her happy. I'm happy when she's happy. That's it.

Please get well soon.. I love you.

Watch the throne

I waited for the throne to drop. It's finally here. It exceeded my expectations. 


Track listing:

1. No Church in the Wild (Feat. Frank Ocean)
2. Lift Off (Feat. Beyoncé)
3. Ni---s in Paris
4. Otis (Feat. Otis Redding)
5. Gotta Have It
6. New Day
7. Prime Time
8. Who Gon Stop Me
9. Murder to Excellence
10. Welcome to The Jungle
11. Sweet Baby Jesus (Feat. Frank Ocean)
12. Love You So (Feat. Mr Hudson)

Bonus

13. Illest Mother----er Alive
14. H*A*M
15. That’s My Bi---
16. The Joy (Feat. Curtis Mayfield)

My favorite so far is "Who gon stop me" They killed it. 

Possible..

It's impossible to obtain happiness forever, but it sure is possible to have you forever.

I guess I have to live up with these words now.

I can't always be happy. But you can choose to stay with her at least be happy with her.. Well in some cases not all the time, but hello! You have her already.. (You dipshit!) Talking to myself.

Have you ever feel that you've become the worst version of yourself? I always do. That a box full of hateful, insecure parts. Maybe, your arrogance, confidence or some call it swag, that box has been opened? Someone upsets you or disappoints you and instead of smiling and say I'm not like that. You zing them with words that are hurtful. You tend to disagree with them because you're primed that you're not like that. Well, I guess I am. Because the person I love, well she sees it. She knows me better than anyone. I just wish I could throw that box of inadequate attitude and replace it with something virtuous. If she loves me with that box of inadequate attitude.. There's nothing to throw out, but my stubbornness.

The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.

Bliss...

Being happy. It's the king of all emotions. You can't describe it that easily. Because, we have our different roots of happiness.

Mine is my love, my moon, my sexy bastard, counterpart.

I'm out of words, really... Because Lea is the real deal.. She's a walking proof of my happiness.

That's it. My love for her will never die.

I haven't seen it for awhile.

I have so many things to shout or write about. But I don't know how to start. I'm not angry. I'm falling apart, because I can't be a better man. Not even for myself.

I lack to understand, I answer back, I always correct her, and I can't lend my ears for awhile.

What does it take to be a man?

Everyday of our lives. We'll be getting closer and closer from the point that we won't be able to let go even if you feel so tired and numb.. But I'm not saying that it would lead to that point.

From what you're showing... You're tired of me. I promised that I can't let happen.

Well, it already did.

A perfect 10..

Today was just perfect... White Chucks, washed denim jeans, loose green kinda like shirt...

She came here around 10. Was a bit upset because I was expecting here to be early, but it didn't change the fact that I was very happy to see her. We started of with the things that we usually do. We are very passionate about it. And I'm keeping my mouth shut. That's all I can say, folks. We delivered.

Around lunch time...
We cooked lunch together. I prepared my Bechamel sauce.. She did her thing with the Potatoes. It was all good. Tried to cook deep fried Mozzarella squares, but it didn't turn quite well. She fries Potatoes at it's best. No flaws. Crispy on the outside, mushy like texture on the inside. Which is quite good! Kinda like fried Mashed Potatoes. If Potato is love, she's Aphrodite.

Now, we're stuffed as hell. Me washing the dishes. And she was surfing the net, I was like " God, please palapitin mo si Lea" Nag-tampo ako ng kaunti pero still I'm very happy na nakikita ko siya sa bahay ko. And we decided to lie down sa sofabed. Doing intimate things even we know that my brother Jed could see us. I was just paying attention to her.. To my love. She offered to play something. I'm not even sure if it's a game or something. Mag talikuran daw kami.. So I did, and siya din. Patagalan.. Unang bumigay talo. Hahaha! Sooo I thought we're wasting time, soo I turned back to my original position. And I fell asleep. :P Which was unintentional... Haha! But It was just very comfortable sleeping beside her, always.. I wish na katabi ko siya ngayon. :( We were a bit groggy, because both of us.. Were awake very early. We fell asleep hugging..And you know what it's the best damn thing ever. :(

Now, the orientation that she was fuzzing about yesterday, actually since Wednesday. It'a about Yoga. We came there late., but we still managed to understand the orientation. We did some certain stances or positions. I guess it helped us fight stress. Gave us inner peace. This a good exercise for us. The world in a state of aggression. I find calm in her, with this exercise. I really hope that we will be able to continue this. It would really help us a lot. Spiritually and Physically.


"Yoga is the fountain of youth.  You're only as young as your spine is flexible. " 


I love her very much... This day was just awesome. Full of feelings, positive feelings. 


She's my perfect 10. 

Let you eat the last piece of baked potatoes..

I just can't believe that I'd end up with you. You picked me, you chose me, you love me. Now by doing that. I will never ever let you go.

A girl so loved with the people surrounding you. A place you might as well call an escape, or paradise. A place I might call hell. A place that I'm not familiar with. A place that you won't need me beside you, because you know every person surrounding it. Imagine all the love that you deserve is right at that place, that I call hell. That's where you learned to be on your own, I can't argue with that. But now, you have a place to be that you can have the same amount of love, of all the person you know there combined or more. Imagine if I haven't met you. Will you still get that amount of love? I'll be turning this place to around. I will make this your escape.. I know that I still love you more than anyone else could. Fact.

"Our first kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything." Wala lang, this line I can relate to it, sooo much.



"Maybe I like the pain of being jealous. Maybe I'm wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe I just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."


My heart was beating fast, I began to lose control. I didn't want to hurt you, I'm just a jealous guy. I was swallowing my pain. I was shivering inside. Feeling that some guy will take you away from me.. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I'm just sorry for myself for acting this way.

Maroon 5 - Runaway

I was listening to this song last night. Again, and again.. Hindi ko alam na may video na pala.

The girl in the video, I can tell na she's free-spirited.. Reminds me of my counterpart. I miss her. Every time I breath in. I'm gasping for more.


"I'm a nervous wreck, I'm a broken man Did you get my message, did it send Or do you get along on your own."

"And it breaks me down when I see your face. You look so different but you feel the same. And I don't not understand, I cannot comprehend The chills your body sends, Why did it have to end."



I'm just missing her a lot.

Heart.

I have a heart. I'll use it. Only, to you.
Love. Everyday. Always.
You fill my heart with joy. Full of Joy.

Every evening is a dinner fight.

Every evening now and then.. We're having this arguments that either one of us can do those ridiculous things. We keep saying "we can't, I don't want to." I'm very desperate to get this feelings or misunderstandings out of me. I want to leave that for good. But as my counterpart says. We can't, it's unavoidable. I guess I have to live with that. It's a part of a relationship.

I said na wala na akong pakielam sa mga naiisip mo. Want I'm delivering is sa mga sinasasabi at mga naiisip mong magagawa mo. And that's hard. In a way you can see me na I can or could cheat on you. That's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard. I did cheat on this girl.. But you know what it's the worst feeling in the world.

I may just have to prove this. Whatever it takes. Even if she thinks na magagawa ko yun for the rest of her life. I won't and I can't. I just have to deliver my love, every ounce of it. I'm willing to die just to prove that. Literally. I think of dying now.

She trusts me. I trust her. But It's not that easy for her because everything is impossible, indeed. Life goes on. I'm thinking of hindi na lang ako magpapaapekto sa mga bintang or pagdududa niya. That's what I meant by saying. Wala na akong pakielam sa naiisip mo(Na I can do those things).  Pero ang hirap lang talaga! Kasi mahal na mahal mo nga yung tao tapos yun lang yung maiisip niya. I feel like kulang pa yung pinapakita kung wala na akong pakiealam sa iba. Eh wala naman talaga. Anak ng Jueteng. Pero being possessive of her is super sweet. Lalo na when you see her, making those faces. It weakens me kasi I can see that she's sop devoted and inlove with me. That she's scared na mawala ako sa buhay niya. Pero mas takot ako.

That's it she's not angry pag nag seselos or nagdududa... She's just scared of losing me.

I love you, Lea.

She needs... I need.

She needed me to be there for her. I wanted to be there for her. But I can't.. Simply, because I can't. You can't be at the same place at the same time. I'm needed here. She needs me. But I do have a choice.. And It's always with her. If I can be there for you all the time, you won't be feeling sadness at it's prime. I'm obliged to be with you and even if I'm not needed I'm willing to be shouted at, screamed at, or whatever you may do to me. Deep in my heart I know you'll always be needing me. Even if things aren't clear between us. Every time you'll need someone or want to be with someone. I want to be that person.

In Brightest day

Green Lantern's light.

Such a lonely day..

Such a lonely day should be banned...

I have never been this lonely even if I have someone to be with. But she can't be with me. That makes me LONELIER!

A lonely post. And My dream sucks. Not the dream itself but the meaning of that dream. And it's didn't even crossed my mind na that's the definition of it.

A drop in a bucket.

"Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get. "

I have always taken care of the ones I love. You're very lucky that you have someone that will take care of you even if I'm not with you. With or without me you'll be able to have a life.

My life depends on you. You showed me that you can be independent. Sometimes I wonder if I disappear, would you ever turn your head and look. See if I'm gone. The things I've done are way too shameful.

I've done you so wrong and treated you bad. You make me feel that, that's all I can do for you.

Ronnie..

May McGorvey: There are four columns of lonely women in here, and only one of lonely men. The odds are on our side. Now why wouldn't any of these women want to meet a nice person like you? 

Ronald James McGorvey: I'm not a nice person. 

The heaviest character for me. "Ronnie" James McGorvey (Jackie Earle Haley), who has served a prison sentence for indecent exposure to a minor, has moved back into the neighborhood to live with his mother.

He's a character from the movie "Little Children" (which my counterpart introduced :*) I loved the movie, it shows us a sun-dappled happy-go-lucky small town people that's every bit as creepy and disturbing. Every moment is funny and painful, but disingenuous assumptions like that can undermine a viewer's emotions.. 

6 out of 5 for me...  

Side A

A side of you to get by.
A side of me that shows my emotions.
A side of me that's scared of going nowhere.
A side of me that's completely happy.
A side of me that's confused.
A side of me knowing what's right and what's wrong.
A side of losing the one you love.
A side of having those laughs that cures everything.
A side of loving the one you love.
A side of tearful pain.
A side of weak.
A side of sorrow.
A side of courage.
A side of acceptance.
A side of love.
A side of you
A side of us.
A side of me.

Aside from this message I have so much to give and show.

Walking away..

That's the one thing that everybody hates and learns to accept.. You just can't let them walk away. Seeing the person who gives every reason on what you are doing now and what you are going to do next walks away. You learn to accept when you see them that they really don't want you near them or even see you standing right in front of them.. But you will accept more when you know you have done something wrong.. But what can you do when they don't want you near them..  Simply walk away with them.But the thing is you can't accept it because you want it fixed right away (that's for me)... . I can't let that person walk away.. Not like that. Seeing, Knowing, Aching.. That you could have been better and understanding for them..

"I can't make the same mistake
If you lose my love
It was yours to take
Break down your door
Take a little more
When I need you around"


"And I'm so terrified of leaving
It's a new low
Try and pick me up again but
Let go see how far I get without you
Desperately need more of your love"

Sunday Morning

One Sunday morning... I woke up, brushed my teeth, prepared breakfast (I helped), Missed Lea (Always), Thinking of Lea (Always)... My dad is preparing to leave for Bulacan. And us (brothers) Stayed home and well do nothing. Since I have nothing to do I was going to write an entry for my blog (this blog). It's about the mishaps of last night's conversation between Lea and me. The line from one Ashton Kutcher movie struck me like a rock hitting on some head...


"No, do not call me to say you miss me. Do not text me, do not e-mail me... do not write it on my wall! If you really miss me, come here and tell me that!" 


Sooo I got up this computer chair rushed to the bathroom.. Took a bath.. Dressed up.. Rode the FX.. Walked.. Waited.. Now I'm standing in front of the most beautiful morning late riser person in the world.. And I love her.


I said goodbye at exactly 11:33am.. I got home at exactly 11:57am


"That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave"


This is exactly the kind of Sunday Morning I'm going to sing about for the rest of my life... Sunday Morning. 

Cosmic

There’s such a strong focus on the Guardians of the Galaxy and their dealing with Thanos that the others suffer somewhat from a lack of attention. Now Thanos is one of my favorite cosmic character from the cosmic universe of Marvel. Or maybe my only favorite character. 

"Thanos is a mutant member of the race of superhumans known as the Titanian Eternals. The character possesses abilities common to the Eternals, but in some cases far beyond any other known member of his race; acquired through a combination of his mutant Eternal heritage, bionic amplification, mysticism, and the entity Death. He has demonstrated enormous superhuman strength, stamina, and particularly durability; is able to absorb and project vast quantities of cosmic energy, enough to obliterate planets; is virtually ageless and immortal; does not need food, drink, or oxygen; and is capable of certain telekinesis, as well as telepathy and matter manipulation. The advanced technology within his transportation chairs includes force field projection, time travel, movement through alternate universes, space flight, and teleportation over interstellar distances. Thanos is an accomplished hand-to-hand combatant, having been trained in the art of war on Titan."

If I would have to make my own universe... I'd hire this guy to.. Well destroy the human race... And other living things. Space is huge, but sort of empty. All of the events have to be catastrophically gigantic. 

BTR Song...

Last night. I was watching Big Time Rush, Okay?! I'm a fan I guess. That show is really amusing in some way even though four Justin Bieber wannabes are the stars of this show. I was hooked by this song called "Boyfriend" It's really catchy and all. The song was first released on MTV Push where they show these new artists every month.. Blah Blah. Anyways going back to last night's episode.. It was the origin of the Boyfriend song... But first it was called the Heartbreak song.. But watching it. You'll undertsand kung paano nangyari yun. Here's the video of the original one.






After all this time ngayon ko lang napakinggan yung line na toh beacuse I can't understand one damn thing na sinasabi nila.. This one line got me so hard..

"I don't care at all what you done before.. All I really want is to be your

Your boy, boy, b-b-boy, b-b-boyfriend"

Realizing that I'm never like that to her.. It's heartbreaking. Now is the most important time of our lives not then. That's why it's called Present.. It's a gift. Thank you Master Oogway, for that wonderful line. This damn song made me realize it pa. But all I really want to be is your boyfriend... Who loves you, you, y-y-you, y-y-you...  

Meet me in Outerspace

I'm a huge comic fan. Obviously. While browsing the net. I stumbled upon a fellow collector's shelf (Stellar18) I have this daily thing.. Which I call my daily dose of porn shelf. I browse the net to give me inspiring ideas to know what to do or what to get. It keeps me moving. The Title doesn't go along with the post but in time I'll gladly explain why.

I grabbed some photos and I would like to share it to you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Most impressive...

My first entry!

Hello... Comic book lovers and Lovers.

Welcome to my blogger... My Blog is about my everyday life with my counterpart and about my daily servings of comic book updates... I have a lot in store for you, definitely. I hope you'll enjoy my blog..

I love you, Lea. She's the one who inspired me to start this blog. I owe her my life.