Christ Mas..

I'm not sure but I'm feeling the blues this holiday... It feels like I have nothing to be merry about. I guess I just miss my other half.

So much to say... But so few on how to express it. How can I be consistent. That I'm not sure of, but heck I can go with no limits. I have something to do to make it feel better I will. Kahit na may matatapakan na mga tao.

I guess I'm not the man of my words.. That's all I have right now strong words but weak emotions or how I express it. Something's bothering me. Maybe it's my lifestyle... It's a bit dull. Maybe, I need a dose of my lover.
I'm tired.. I want to sleep forever. So much to love, so much to prove...

Fix.

I'm in this terrible position, and it's because I know this is the right thing to do. I'm confident that it will recover because she knows that she wants to.

I stood up. Let her know what made me mad. What made this happen.  It's not easy to man up. It takes a lot of courage, even if it means saying the hardest words possible. For me you just can't pull it anywhere.. I have to man up for a reason. To make her know, to let her feel. I guess kaya ako nag matigas kasi alam kung tama ang ginagawa ko. Alam ko ang ginagawa ko.

I love her so much that is why I'm doing this. Ako lang ang makakaintindi nun. It's for the better, and that's what she's looking for... Better. If she can understand why I'm doing this, and what it's for. I have hope. And I'm willing to give this a shot. I'm fixing it. I'm not asking for you to stop seeing your friends, or stop going out. I just want you to understand kung anong meron akong buhay. Hindi ito madali. Kasi ako yung naiipit.

At the end of the day.. You still have me.. I am consistent. That's why I make time to be with you, kahit mahirap. I will fix this, but fix what you know as well.

6% Body fat and 94% full of shit

It's official. I'm full of shit. That's why I always feel like shit, well not most of the time. Well it hurts to know that you are full of it. Even thought it's not for me.. I'm affected, because I'm giving you shit all the time. "Don't do that or Blah Blah" Too many to mention.

Maybe I'm full of jealousy. It's hard not to.

I'm back!

Damn, Ken where the hell you've been?! I'm photo shoot fresh. Well It's been a while seen I posted something. Well a lot had happen, that I'm pretty sure of. Ups, and downs, and merry-go-rounds.

I'm sure that I'm happier than yesterday. Will be posting a lot soon. To my loyal follower! I love you.. I'll see you soon.

What's the unit?

I started thinking last night, my love opened my eyes about it. If you can measure love.. By some kind of instrument that would be awesome. Mine would burst right in. As I know. I'm that sure. cm? mm? inch? cc?

But the bigger question is.. Can you measure love? What are the means to measure love.. Is it when you say I love you, every minute of the day or how you call everyday or is it how you make creative things for your loved one when you're doing nothing at all or maybe show yourself up in front of her/his house. In my world, love is un-measurable. The majority of it is how you feel love for your loved one. You can't measure someone's feelings or love.. You're the only one who can measure the feelings na nararamdaman mo.

People are always saying that change is a good thing. But all they're saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... Has happened.

What will Lea Maui say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer. I wait impatiently as it starts up. I go online, and my breath catches until I see that Lea posted something on my wall. I hear nothing. Not even the sound of Kanye's music just the beating of my own heart. I have a wallpost. from you.

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it for the ones I love or do I do it for me to obtain happiness? I'm not looking for an answer. This is the kind of question that will keep me moving forward.

It's official.

I'm the worst boyfriend ever.. And I have the bestest girl ever. Narinig ko na lahat ng ayokong marinig, which makes me well the worst boyfriend ever. I'm at the peak already. Bago ako makababa.. Madaming pag dadaanan. Parang di na natatapos. I'm being the worst possible version of myself. Di na natatapos one thing I know. Iba nanaman pinagaawayan... Halos different angles mong tignan di mawawala. Lahat yun masakit tanggapin kasi... Siya na nga lang nakakasama ko. Tapos di pa daw parati.. Well, I have no one to give my time na kung hindi sa kanya. Ang hirap na talaga. Di ko alam kung di niya matanggap yung best ko o hindi ko pa toh best. I try to surprise her, give her things, love her more, but that's not enough.

I'm just thankful na di niya pa ako iniiwan. I'll be happy I am happy... Pag dumating yung araw na yun. it would be hurtful but yet.. Truthful.

If her love isn't deep for me, she'll find someone better. If she likes someone already, masakit.

The top 5 personalities of my girl..

Here are the top 5 personalities of my one and only love. :)


1. Flirty Lea - One of my favorites. But not my top. She gives me this exotic temptress' eyes. I sends chills to my bones. She'll get closer and closer. Gives me random kisses.. I'm on my knees, every time she turns into this sexy beast.. That I could only restrain. Hopefully. What a sexual preference.

2. Possessive Lea - This is quite a curve ball. When she gives me this look that signifies uhmm.. Possessive-ness. It's really cute! When you see her making these weird faces. It brings joy to my heart, because she wants to make sure. That she's mine... All mine. Sweet, there's plenty of me to go around! :D

3. The Weird one/ The Serious one - Now, this personality is kinda scary, because it feels like she's hiding something from me. Acting all goofy and all. Being quite or Gazing through the sky or the ceiling sometimes. Ang seryoso lang minsan. I can't read her all the time. Sometimes we fight about nothing. Because sometimes her nothing is just not nothing.. There's something, definitely. Scariest for me. Ang sexy niya pa din. :D

4. The blissful one - When bliss is present. There's nothing to worry about. Love is in the air. Nothing could go wrong. Do I need to explain bliss. I'm the one who could only assure that for her. And sometimes it hurts me, because sometimes I can't give that to her.. She suddenly turns to the 3rd one which is the weird one. So that is definitely hard to handle. But it's pretty obvious when she's happy. Kahit saan mo pa dalhin. She smiles of course, and her eyes. Oh man, her eyes.. The perfect weapon of happiness. Even if you cover her lips. You can still tell that she's happy. Her eyes I just can't describe it. Whenever I look into it. Parang I'm sucked by a vortex of rainbow. You can definitely see that there's one happy soul.

1. Mr. Lea Andrea Mauro - She gets what she wants. PERIOD! And I love that. Because all she wants is me. I guess you're wondering why Mr.?! Mr. I'm turning into her. Full of Passion and Devotion. And yun yung minsan na pagkukulang ko. Ever time we argue. Sometimes. parang ang sarap na lang niyang yakapin kasi all she's trying to say is FIX THIS, BECAUSE I CARE, AND I LOVE YOU. "I'm trying to say what I feel para mapasaya mo ako lalo" type of attitude. I lack of understanding kasi how can I understand her when she's standing under me. WORDPLAY! Woot! :* She's the boss. I love my boss, commander, and Goddess. The CEO of my life.

That's it! My top 5 personalities of Lea. Whatever personality she show. I equally love them all. She's the one, but five is better. 5 of her that is. I love her for her. And only her.